This time of covid-19 can cause strain on families and in the end can cause a strain on relationships. Help is here, like superman careening to save Lois lane, this article will help you with the struggles you are currently facing.
The morning routine used to be, the entire family gets dressed and the kids either walk to school, or they are dropped off, not to be seen again until about 4:00PM or later, depending on when one gets home from work. If there are no children involved, the couple separates after a quick gulp of coffee anticipating the time that they will reconnect over a dinner and night routines with an opportunity to share each other’s day. (This is also assuming that you are not mad texters sharing every single moment of you day through text then this whole scenario is mute.) But let’s assume that you can’t wait to get back home at the end of the day to talk about the fun things you did, the deal that you closed, the students who said the cutest things. NOW it’s different. EVERYONE is home including the dogs. You have no where to go. You love all these people, but you want to see less of them. The kids won’t get out of bed, the ones in middle school think that they know everything they won’t take you teaching, and then you look at their math and realize that you don’t know anything. The one in high school is stressed and the maturity that you thought they had is vaporizing in front of your eyes. You look at the love of your life and they have stopped. They’ve stopped dressing for the day, they stopped putting on make-up, they stopped fixing their hair, they’ve just stopped. The happy ever after has turned into COVID nightmare, what do you do?
Let me offer a few suggestions:
This is temporary; it will eventually pass. There are many who, under the strain would like to seek other options, but the caution is not to make a permanent decision due to a temporary situation. Schools will reopen and the kids will go back. You will go back to work and continue making the deals, but if you lose your family at a time that you both need each other, it is a regret that you will have forever. This is a good time to offer hope to yourself and to your children; they are also feeling the anxiety that Covid-19 has caused. After a break-up lots of couples say “it is the worst mistake of my life. Hang in there; it will get better.
I used to watch Winnie the Pooh as a young person and loved Pooh’s thinking time. Give each other some private time. This may naturally happen, but if it does not, pick an hour in the day where everyone has a break from each other and a break from the “BREAKING NEWS.” If the kids are younger, use it as a game, the sleeping prince or princess. Sprinkle fairy dust and see who can last the longest sleeping. They’ll think it’s fun and you will have a break.
Accept the inevitable and you will be more content. This virus will be with us for a while, we need to adjust our lives to accommodate it, but we can also make ourselves healthier to fight it. Those who are healthy have a much better chance of fighting any viruses, talk to the family about healthy living. This can be an opportunity for the kids to participate. Get them to research what a healthy body needs to remain at it’s best.
Part of accepting the inevitable, is learning to control the controllables. In our sphere of influence we have 15% control. What is in your control? What is out of your control?
It may sound trite, but think about those who have no one to fight with, to laugh with to make-up with. Get to know each other all over again including the children. We’ve all had too much to do that keeps us busy, we have been slowed down and the universe is telling us that we have time. Time to live and love each other. Be kind to each other. Think of those ho are quarantining alone.
Learn a new skill, individually, or as a family. I’ve learned how to make videos, and actually learned how to use my Mac for other things than typing and printing. Learning a new skill can help you feel productive.
Finally, I’d like to leave you with a final gift, ‘a round tuit. Look at this time as an opportunity to get around to it.
